| Does your friend or partner want to spend every moment with you and grows suspicious if you want time alone? |
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| Have you started to avoid saying or doing things because you fear his response? |
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| Does he try to control where you go and what you do? Does he get angry or feel victimised if you want to spend time away from him |
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| Are you starting to feel afraid to speak your mind or express how you feel? |
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| Does your friend criticise, put down and say hurtful things about other people? Does he put you down? |
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| Does he use his love or care his reason for being jealous and controlling? |
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| Has he a history of addiction, violence, assault or abuse and not received significant help resolving, (counselling, group recovery etc) or is still unresolved? |
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| Does he constantly text you, call you and want to know where you are? Does he always turn up on your 'day off' from seeing him, asking mistrusting questions and then say he was missing you and wanted to spend time with you? |
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| Does he lose his temper easily? Has he hit, slapped, punched, pushed, kicked, grabbed or shook you? Has he promised not to do it again? Are you afraid of his temper? |
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| Has your family or friends shared their concerns about your relationship? Do you find yourself defending him? |
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| Do you have your 'place' with him? For example, he has his own ideas about the roles of men and women, this can include you mustn't speak up, be home by a certain time, etc. |
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| Does he have difficulty hearing your no? Does he persistently push for his own way? Do you feel pressured to give in for the sake of some peace? |
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| Does he blame you blame for his behaviour? Has he put you down, become aggressive or verbally abusive demanding you change? Has he said it would not have happened if you had not said or done something? |
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| Does he take drugs, have mood swings, become irritable and objectionable? |
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| Does he excuse his behaviour on the drink, stress, etc. as a reason for being out of control? |
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| Does he blame everyone for his problems and are noticing you are becoming a target too or the main person that he blames? |
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| Does he prefer to have no contact with your friends and family and do you feel that he is trying to separate you from them too? Are you starting to feel isolated? |
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| Does he hide money, lie about money or take money away from you? |
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| Has he started to tell you what to do and make remarks that he knows how to do things better than you? Does he seem masterful and in control? |
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| Have you seen things that don’t ‘add up’ and he accuses of you are being crazy or seeing things? As if he is playing mind games with you? |
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