For 7 years I wanted to move from the city to the countryside. During quiet times of reflection, I wondered how people survived in the country and would I be able to adjust?

In the countryside you have a less reliable transport system, less shops and less outdoor lighting - all small things that I had big accustoms to in the city.    I was also going to have to get use to the fact of not living close to my family. Despite what would be a period of losses and adjustments, I had many good motivations for moving and so I took the leap.

The first few weeks were quite difficult for me. I felt lonely and I missed my family. It was much quieter in the country side and it could be quite a smelly place at times!

The changes were difficult and I know one of the reasons I made it through was being mentally prepared for change.  My work as a Coach involves helping others change. This means helping them change something in themselves or in their lives that would prevent them from realising their dreams.  I know without preparation, we are more likely to find the transition period very difficult. We may survive it but with bruises or the shock may send us retreating claiming the cost was too much.

Types of changes

• Easy adaptable changes - your hair style or your car, the route you take home - things you can easily manage and are in control of
• Difficult to face changes - things you know need changing but don't want to face or don't know how to go about finding the solutions (i.e losing weight)
• Challenging change -demands that you change your perception, ideas, the way you look at the world or what you believe in (i.e. someone betrays your trust)
• Imposed change - this change is imposed on you and you have no control over - you feel cheated on, angry, disempowered (i.e. being made redundant)

How do you respond to change?

Do you tend to cry, moan and complain or wish things were better?  Sounds like you want change but haven't take ownership of the things that are in your power to change. What one thing can you do to take ownership?

Do you know something that needs changing but have little motivation to change? For most of us we are much more comfortable with routine than with change, so once we've established a pattern, we quite happily go along with it day and in day out. What rewards are there to making changes and what is it costing you to stay where you are? In what ways can you start using rewards and costs as motivators for change?

Do you deny or refuse to look at change? Do you fear facing something that is difficult or painful for you?  Perhaps you have been told you are not good enough or can't manage doing things for yourself. Perhaps you fear what the changes will bring, i.e. loss of love, acceptance etc.   You must learn to recognise your core beliefs about your situation that may in fact not be true. As you challenge your core beliefs you brain can start to look at your situation in other perceptions and ones that are not self defeating.

Whether we like it or not change is part of our lives. We can prepare for change but realising that it doesn't always feel comfortable and will challenge our feelings, beliefs, behaviours and abilities. There will be things we can control and things that we cannot but whatever the change is, we can train ourselves to look for the opportunities and solutions and as a result change will be far less stressful.

Written by Joanne Robinson - Copyright Donna Intera 2008