Have
you heard people say how loving and kind their partner was when they
first started dating and that they never thought he would be someone
who was dangerous or someone they did not want to be with?
At
the beginning of a relationship couples go through what we call a
'honey moon' period where everything is warm and fuzzy and the focus is
on putting on their 'best side'. Though this is considered a normal
part of developing romantic relationships it does have its downside.
During
this period we might overlook behaviour that make us feel uncomfortable
because we do not want to offend or appear to be making a fuss. We
may also be attached to the qualities that we love and admire in our
partner and feel confused as to what to do about the things that are
causing concern.
Dangerous
or unhealthy behaviour does not just appear. It is present in the
person that we are developing an attachment to and appears and grows
over time as the relationship develops. That is why it is very
important even during the 'honeymoon' period to know what the early
warning signs are before you feel too afraid to do anything about it.
Even if you have reached that stage, you can still take measures to
reach out for help and get the support that you need.
As
a survivor of domestic abuse, I know that there are many things you can
do to help yourself that will empower you to avoid developing
relationships with unsafe people. Building a strong sense of self,
confidence and self esteem, developing communication skills and
learning about safe and unsafe behaviour will go a long way in helping
you develop the relationships you want and avoiding those that will
diminish you.
What To Do Now
Take the Test: Am I in an Unsafe Relationship? Click here
Take the Test: Self Esteem Click here
Download 7 Men You Need To Avoid
Download 12 Early Warning Signs
If you are in danger get support, see the links page for organisations that can help