Have you ever wondered why some people experience the same type of
relationships over and over again? They may change partner's, houses, jobs and
even location but still they tend to fall for the same types of people and go
through similar problems time and time again.
A few years ago a film called GroundHog Day, starring Bill Murray, told
the story of a weatherman who was forced to live the same day over and over
again. His desperate attempts to change
failed and only as he became a more compassionate, understanding, loving and
forgiving person did he finally wake up to a new day.
People in Groundhog Relationships tend to believe that if their partner
would change then their problems would stop or they give up on relationships,
concluding that all men (or women) are the same.
When I hear women say that men are all the same they are really speaking about their
personal experiences rather than about all men in general. It isn't true that all men are the same but
it is possible to keep gravitating towards the same types and therefore it
would appear that all men are the same.
Like Murray the only way their experiences will change is when they
figure out what it is they need to do differently. In my personal and professional experience I
have found women who do this work and become responsible for their personal
happiness enjoy better relationships.
Though we cannot control other people's behaviours we can control our
responses and attitudes and here is where change takes place. Perhaps breaking
a pattern for you might be learning to enforce boundaries or learning that you are a
woman of worth and do not have to settle for disrespect. Perhaps it means
working through old emotional wounds so that you no longer fear intimacy and
choose people that can't commit to you. Perhaps it means learning to trust your
opinions and intuition again or maintaining your personal space in
relationships so that you don't lose sight of all the other things that are
important to you. Perhaps like Murray it means learning to be a more
compassionate and caring individual.
Try changing the way you think and the way you view your relationships
by exploring your relationship patterns. Give it a try; you might just be
presently surprised by the outcomes!
Written by Joanne Robinson
Copyright Donna Intera 2009